Gratitude and 2020!
2020 what a year! Such a torrent of words want to fly out of my mouth, mostly not positive. Why?
Because so much has been lost and life seemingly cancelled.
Jobs, livelihoods, homes, health, holidays, parties, weddings, birthdays the list really could go on forever! Past events in my 50 years of life have been marked by events, knowing “where you were when….”
But what I CAN say positively about 2020 is that it’s the year that this generation and many to come will NEVER, EVER forget!
It took almost all of us by surprise; day by day, week by week, month by month something new would be introduced and we would have a completely different way of coping and dealing with this ‘New Normal”. There aren’t many words I dislike as much as COVID 19. I think as a nation and generation, the aftershocks of this year will be with us for a long time to come.
For some, the change is welcome: virtual work life, the daily commute - gone. For millions of children around the world virtual schooling, avoiding conflicts in the hallways and playgrounds. Mask and hand sanitiser manufacturers rubbing their hands together with glee as they count the dollar!
There are times this year when my mood has been melancholy. I thrive on certainty, routine, planning for the future. I was born with an inherent desire to always have a to do list and put dates in the diary. I have organisation and planning ideas flowing through my veins. I am not one to embrace change. So how have I stopped myself from wallowing day after day? The answer, gratitude.
For me, my sanity and saviour has always been the art of practicing gratitude. I have been studying the benefits of practicing gratitude for over 10 years. My 40th year was the one which moved me into the self-help world more than ever before – a tipping point, you might say.
All the books I read, and there were many, all spoke about the “Attitude of gratitude”.
The benefits seemed to be “too good to be true” so my natural curiosity led me to delve deeper into this simple art of saying ‘thank you’.
Going back to ancient times, world leaders and todays spiritual teachers such as Deepak Chopra, the Dalia Lama, Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou all talk about the profound effects that gratitude has had in their lives.
One of the most memorable books I read, back in 2010, was by an author called John Kralik, his book entitled “365 Thank yous, The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life”. *link at the end
A story about a man’s struggle, at a time when his life was falling apart, was introduced to the idea of practicing the art of daily gratitude. His results were significant and life changing. His story resonated - I was hungry for more, I felt his pain.
Being grateful, did not come naturally to me at first. Having been through many difficult years, I really had forgotten to look at what had gone well in my life, as opposed to focusing on all that had gone wrong.
Daily gratitude was a practice that was not easy to implement at first, like any new practice there has to be discipline that needs to be implemented. Starting off with a gratitude journal was the first step to creating change in my life. The discipline of daily gratitude influences how we spend the resources that have been gifted to us: our time, our energy, our talents, and our money. Regardless of present life circumstances, being grateful for all of our life experiences – the good and the bad – is life-changing.
There were days when I was reluctant to write or even think grateful thoughts, but after a while I started to notice the difference in my day, one that started off giving thanks for:
• My health
• My two girls
• My warm bed (that was always a popular one)
• The roof over my head
• My friends and family
• My car
• My job
• Diamonds
You get the picture…
Practicing gratitude requires you to focus on your intention rather than allowing how you feel in any given moment to determine what you do.
Rather than living in a reactionary state of mind, create the life you want by focusing on what is already working.
When you set goals and make decisions within the context of what is truly important in your life, it’s much easier to determine what matters and what doesn’t.
Life is about choices. You make choices every single moment that move you toward or away from your intentions. Set goals and take action steps that are based on your commitment to your intentions, not on how you feel at any given moment.
If you allow how you’re feeling to determine whether or not you will take the action steps you’ve committed to, you probably won’t follow through much of the time.
You only have to watch the news for 5 mins to send you into a tailspin! Days when I am unintentional in my thoughts and plans can often lead me to despair.
There have been times when I have not paid close attention to my surroundings, have had the radio playing all day with half hourly news bulletins and suddenly come to the conclusion that the world is going to s**t because I have absorbed all the horror stories of hardship and death in the world that day.
We’ve all heard the saying, “Perception is reality.” Your perception of your reality is what creates your reality. The key to changing your reality is to shift what aspects of an event or experience you choose to focus on.
Here’s an exercise that exemplifies the power of shifting your focus:
I could tell someone about a life experience I had, as if it were a tragedy, an awful experience, emphasising all the terrible aspects of that experience.
Now I could tell the same story as an uplifting and delightful experience, focusing on all the good aspects of that same experience and what I was grateful for.
The actual facts do not change, but what you choose to focus on when you tell the story makes a huge difference in how you feel about your circumstances.
Being grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy. It’s much harder to be grateful for all of our life experiences—the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures.
So have a think today about all the wonderful things going on in your life at this moment!
• Good health?
• Happy children?
• A job?
• A home in which to return every night?
• A delicious meal to enjoy
2020 has indeed been an utter s**tshow for many! But there will be much good to take from it. We might not see it today or tomorrow. But we will have learnt a lot about the world, its truths and untruths.
One thing for sure - there will always be something to be grateful for!
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With love and gratitude as always,
Sian
