Lost keys.. don’t lose your mind.
“Nobody gets through life without losing a few things along the way”
We have all been there. Try to remember pre 2020, that first thing in the morning rush to get out of the house. The school bags are ready, lunches made, all items lined up at the door just to ensure you are organised for the day ahead and that you haven’t forgotten anything.
The hustle and bustle and the banging into each other at the door way. The irritability of the youngest to the eldest about some minutia or other and all you need to do is get OUT of the front door! You go to the key rack in the kitchen to find your keys, they are not there!
You go inside your bottomless handbag and they are not there either.
The first question starts
“ Have either of you seen my keys?”
“ No” is the collective response.
The first of many ‘under my breath’ expletives comes out of my mouth. The younger one is sharp her hearing is acute and she has senses like a bat.
“ What did you just say mum?”
“ Nothing!” in a sudden realisation that the younger one can hear, my eldest is deaf so have maintained many years of swears falling out silently and her not hearing a word.
Close call Winslade.
They both stand around waiting for me to go from defcon 5 to defcon 1, please feel free to research the stages or for the purpose of this blog I will level them for you!
Defcon 5 low …..normal peacetime ( mum is calm)
Defcon 4 moderate … increased security( mum is swearing under her breath… the younger one hears)
Defcon 3 substantial … air force is ready in 15 minutes ( mum starts pacing around accusing everyone of taking her keys including the cat )
Defcon 2 severe……. Army ready in 6 hours ( mum now starts hyperventilating and saying things like, ‘well that’s great, we can’t even get out of the bloody house, the front door is locked so the keys must be here somewhere’... Kids both now frantically looking all, throwing up cushions, searching the washing machine, coat pockets, the cat bowl)
Defcon 1 critical …. Nuclear war imminent..( Mum and kids now all shouting, pointing the finger of blame, ready to take each other out!)
I know for a fact that I can’t be the only household in the world that this happens to, so here are some top tips for success to keep your house at Defcon 5 as much as is humanly possible!
What to do with your keys
A) Keep the keys in a central place at all times
B) Purchase a little electronic device attached to your keys, I have one called tile that I can press on my phone that let’s my keys ring. ( click on the link to see one)
That is of course providing you haven’t lost your phone as well!!!!. Then defcon 1 could be very real and very sweary!
Tile is an epic little device that you can buy online from amazon for about £19.99. It works with Alexa and Google Home, iOS and android compatible.
C) Ensure the night before that you have everything, including your keys ready so that the morning doesn’t start off with a nuclear war!
D) Have a spare set somewhere and always make sure you put them back as soon as you have used them.
Please rest assured that no cats, kids, or keys were hurt in the writing of this blog.
If you have any questions or want to find out how not to lose your mind, get in touch with me and click here.
With love and gratitude,
Siân
